“Look Honey, Three Soldier’s!”

I took my Mother out of town for a drive for Mother’s Day this morning, to visit the markets. 

Whilst I was there I noticed three dressed up Army personnel in my proximity. There was a mother standing there with her young son, and she loudly pointed them out to him who was impressed at the three soldier’s. 

I am seeing soldier’s everywhere. 

It ruined the whole day and even though I tried hard not to show it, my family knew that it upset me. 

It has been six months now and I am still seeing soldier’s everywhere. I wonder if it’ll get easier, and when I look at them I’ll be able to see the face of an excited 5 year old boy not the one soldier who let me down. 

I wonder how hard it is for families who soldier’s have died fighting to see them everywhere. I can imagine it would be even worse. How do they cope? I’m still not coping very well. 

I feel like I need to find myself someone to love again, but after everything, moving on seems too difficult right now. Even though he did very quickly. I know until I can feel at peace and stop seeing soldier’s everywhere, any relationship right now would be a rebound. Even 6 months on…