Remembering, but reconfiguring.
I love some of the memories that I had created with my B.B. Love, not loved.
Each time I hear one of ‘those songs’ on the radio my heart used to ache all over again.
The pain of his actions would come flooding back in an inescapable avalanche. No, I wasn’t with him in any war zone.
But I started to dodge the memories he left like bullets, because they would rip me open.
Until last night, where I made a personal revelation of sorts. It probably isn’t any kind of revelation, in fact I doubt it is new.
But I purposely listened to one of ‘those songs’ on the Internet last night. One of those songs that played on our first night out, dinner with the family, e-mail share, drop-off at the airport…
Then I remembered why I loved it. LOVE it. It sounded like it did when I was in his arms, only now I’m not. All of a sudden it didn’t matter.
It is my song now, now ours. It is the moment that I felt happy, it is how I want to feel again in my next relationship when I am ready.
Do you find it easy to separate the memories from the person?
Making the memories of ‘those songs’ now MY songs. Remembering, but reconfiguring.